Facebook Fraud

I'm a Facebook Fraud.  I only post the pictures that make me look better than I really do.  I only say positive things about my family.  My husband is a saint and my children are angels.  I only post what I secretely think will earn me the coveted "like" and then check periodically all day to see if anyone does indeed, "like" me. 

I "like" other people often, hoping that will lead them back to my page.  Most of the time I don't actually give a rat's butt what they post.  But I want that "like" so badly I freely "like" others.  It's "like" cocaine.  One taste of the "like" and you're on the road to selling your body for more of it.  Walking the streets, hiking up your skirt, flashing smiley face emoticons for just one more "like."  But each "like" is only a faded reflection of the first time.  It never feels as good, so you keep begging for more.  You try to be clever.  Then humorous.  Then sad and hope for a sympathy "like."  It's never enough.

You ever wake up in the middle of the night to pee, and then check your Facebook page?  I have!  Is there a Betty Ford for Facebook?  I wonder how many hours I've wasted, if I could somehow track them all?  But no, I'm an ugly vein-polutted black eyed tattooed Facebook ho.  What wonderous projects could I have completed with all of that time? 

Speaking of projects, have you heard of Pinterest?  It's fantastic.  Be sure and "like" me when you get there!